Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Why? Because I Love You.

He probed. She was unsure. But eventually yielded. "I love you. You're beautiful." She wont say it back. No, scratch that. She can't say it back. Carefully, very carefully, he tries all he can. Take two. One small push and she's all his. Moving in perfect synchronization of body, of life. How does she say it? Without him getting scared and backing off? Her mind screams, "I love you! And I've loved you all this while." But her mouth stays locked in his. 


The words lost in the heat of the moment. Drowned in passion. "Relax," he says, sensing the urgency and the tenseness in her back. She lets out a soft moan, as his hands move down, easing out all her apprehensions. They shift. The kisses are different. His more tearing. Hers, softer. Her hand caressing his face. Obvious love. "It's funny how it never felt like this when we were together." "Because when we were together, I was playing my part. The caring boyfriend one." Muffled gasps. Sharp pain. "So that was all an act?" Long drawn sigh. "Not really. I meant it when I was in it. It's just too taxing for a guy like me." 


Unshed tears, distracted by tethering his body, embedding her nails in his arched back. Teeth gnawing supple skin. Red. Color of hurt. Color of passion. Of love. She strokes his forehead as he slowly moves her hair out of her face to get a closer look. He doesn't call her beautiful. Something stops him. At the very edge. But she wants to know. Lazy exhaustion. Slower kisses. Wild submission. Acceptance. Denial. Tired. "They don't understand, but this is the best part." Contentment. Really? She wants to ask. Then how do you? Is it just me? Tell me! Talk out loud! "You have weird perceptions and estimations about yourself, you know..." "Like what?" He snuggles closer. 


His hand always in motion against her back. He kisses her head discreetly, thinking she can't tell. She can. She can always tell. "Like this. You think you want this. You're a really good boyfriend for as long as you don't start thinking about it." "Hmm..." he mutters with his eyes shut. Still holding her close. She doesn't think he realizes that this is the closest they've gotten in a long time. And it's the closest they will be, all bared, in a very, very long time to come. 

 

"You wanna get a smoke?" This is it. She doesn't want to let go. She's finally found something comfortable. Comforting. Something that doesn't make her squirm, or jump back in disapproval and skepticism. She was scared she'd find out how irrevocable her feelings were where he was concerned if she ever landed up in something like this. And there you go. She found out. And it hit her so hard, that she doesn't mind not being carefully handled, or not called beautiful, or looked at with a certain kind of deep love only some pair of eyes can show her. For all she cares. Ravage my body. Be harsh yet truthful.  In whatever limited and warped form that may be possible. This is not me. It's not who I am. What am I doing? Giving in because you're tired. Somebody answers. Consumed.

20 comments:

  1. Is it your own work/ story? I mean isit inspired or taken from famous book? Nevertheless grt post!
    Btw be sure to check out my NeWpost
    Xoxo

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  2. Beautiful story! And gorgeous pictures!
    Of course I'd like to have us follow each other! Following you now via GFC and hope you'll follow me back :)
    Can't wait to read more of your beautiful writing!

    xoxo,
    Paris

    glitteratiandglamour.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm already following you via Google Friend Connect :)
    I'm under Paris and there is no picture if that helps you find me better!

    xoxo,
    Paris

    glitteratiandglamour.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. what a cute post! <3 love it!

    yes ofcourse we can follow each other! I'm following you

    XX Tali

    http://hersecondskintali.blogspot.com/
    GO & CHECK OUT MY GIVEAWAY

    ReplyDelete
  5. your words are lovely! of course we can follow eachother!:) thanks for dropping by mine and keep in touch!:)

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  6. Lovely blog ! very cute^^ Thank you for your comment on my blog,
    of course we can follow eachother !^^
    xo

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  7. I really love your blog extremely.Beautiful picture let the story amazing!XD

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  8. These pictures are so cute! Love your blog! Following you :)

    http://fashionroll.net

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  9. Thanks for your comment in my blog.I appreciate!Looking towards for your next post.>_<

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  10. very well written it seems evrt word has feelings :)

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  11. Aww thanks for your sweet comment ! I'm following <3

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  12. thanks:) I love your blog and will be a pleasure to follow you:)
    I like this picture, cause If we don't have love, we have nothing in our lives:)
    Kisses Stylish!

    Oh, and I have a new look:) Visit and see :)

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  13. beautiful shots!

    http://forallthatjas.blogspot.com/

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  14. That was amazing. I stumbled upon this accidentally. An I could not stop reading. Grrat job

    ReplyDelete