Sunday, August 26, 2012

Inside Your Head

I have been meaning to write a blog post for a while, but I have taken a break from my beloved laptop. There is something alluring about the internet that draws you in, slowly, click by click, page by page, causing you to submit yourself to its hold, until the day is over and you have nothing left to give. Eventually you reside inside the screen, imprisoned by your own incessant compulsion.

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Upon watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics and seeing the man behind the World Wide Web, I began to ponder about what our existence would have been like without the internet.

There would be a sense of community between ourselves and our neighbors. People would actually visit and talk to each other. We would not feel so compelled to reveal so much about ourselves, but instead would conceal and live in the privacy of our own homes. Marriages would not be destroyed, our relationships would be stronger and easier to maintain. People would have more time to read, to explore and marvel at the beauty of the earth. People would enjoy the smaller moments that build up to exhilaration. They would notice the flowers blossoming in the spring and the color of the sky at sunset. They would listen to the sound of the birds and the drops of rain against their windows. People would live their lives and comprehend what it means to truly live.

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The internet does have its advantages, but we have become too fixated with its supremacy, we are disregarding time, our existence, our being. The internet merely sustains but does not cultivate us. Some may argue that it can be used as a means to retain contact, reinforce relationships, thus revoking my words. It can be used as a platform to allow one to depict a different version of who they are in a way that they cannot do in person. The internet can be used as a medium to liberate oneself. It allows one to interact and connect with an international audience, but the internet has introduced a filter through which we now perceive our lives. We have fabricated concepts in our minds of which nothing in our lives can or will measure up to.

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Our generation is slowly losing its grasp of reality. Everything is being computerized, modernized and technology is replacing human contact. Our children will live in a world where physical presence is devalued, how will they learn about affection, warmth and love? Technology will become their parents and best friends. It will become their teacher. Their computers will nourish them, and everything will be robotized. The human heart will begin to be upheld by technology, and eventually they will find a way to immortalize their souls. Love and air will be bottled and sold, with added chemicals and artificial sweeteners. Laughter will be bought through vending machines and serenity injected into the bloodstream by a manufactured android.

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The internet is a revolution, but we must take time to detach ourselves from its hold and revel in who we are. Our perception of reality is already distorted by prejudice, we will lose our hearts and souls if we are not careful, we will lose our lives, let go.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Ek Tha Tiger : Review

A huge fan I am of the actor Salman Khan, but as asked by my friends for an unbiased review (i.e. assuming it was just another actor and not THE Salman Khan) here it goes:

5 stars is what I would give it just after recalling Salman's face once, but "committing" to my promise as stated above, I am giving it somewhere between 4 and 4.5 stars. Now, I know that many critics have given it 3 stars but ignoring every other review or the star's charisma I give it a 4 that goes solely to the movie. One star I have deducted because the dialogues at the very first scene did not live up-to my expectations. Nor was Salman looking his very best (I felt like he was having a cold or the likes of that).  The action scenes were not over shown or dramatic like that of Bodyguard’s (albeit it came as a nice surprise to me). But the unexpected twists and turns after the interval of the movie are what made the movie one of a kind. You would expect something to happen while the opposite happens. I could feel the people sitting around me thrilled and anticipating. When Zoya (Katrina’s character) was shot the whole audience of the Hall was praying to let her not die. When Salman was shot in an unexpected situation the whole audience let aloud a gasp in unison. When they succeeded the whole audience clapped and rejoiced. Such things are what make a movie a great one.


Katrina has done a commendable job in the movie. The stunts pulled by her were worth applauding. It is undoubtedly her best. Salman was again in a different character with a different attitude than the characters of his previous movies. The recent Salman Khan movies were all blockbusters. This was supposed to be one too. And no matter how it turns out for other viewers I would say it has the most gripping story than all the other ones. No one seemed willing to miss any part of it. There was hurry among all in the snacks’ queue during the interval. After the 2.5 hours, everyone came out of the Hall with a smile.

I would, finally, conclude that it was worth my 200 bucks. I would have been missing a great deal if I didn’t go for the show. And no matter what, like all Salman Khan Movies, the Hall was full packed with a cheerful cloud.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

To See You Smile

People always ask how I feel about broadcasting my life on the internet; the truth is that this genuinely does not bother me. I have stopped caring about what everybody else thinks. I will wear what I want and do what I want. I see no reason to fear people. These rules that you are too scared to break, have been created by people, what makes them superior? I am conscious not to offend anybody, or to provide too much detail about people in my life, but otherwise I write here unreservedly.


My honesty and openness is for one reason only. As a teenager, I did not have anybody in my life to guide me through my trials. I found myself incessantly wishing that I had somebody to teach me how to deal with my affliction, to listen, to remind me that everything would be okay. I wanted a person to ensure that things would get better and that they could say this with sincerity because they had been through it too. I wanted them to make me feel hopeful, because as long as I felt that bit of hope, I would have something to hold on to. Sadly, I did not have that person; I struggled through the misery alone, so now if I can, I would like to be that person for you. I want to help you in any way possible. I want to give you hope and tell you that everything will be okay, because it will. 



The abyss is terrifying, drawing you in until you fall hard against the arctic base of sorrow. You will lay there, only just breathing, but dead inside. Your fingertips are comatose, you feel nothing, you see nothing, you hear nothing, you become, nothing. Everybody is unfamiliar, and ignorant of your animate corpse. Life becomes a series of moving images, each meaningless and an amputation of existence. Death is your only liberty, the piercing of melancholy so deep within your soul that each breath becomes a punishment.


Losing hope is the most horrifying experience of ones life. The only people that agree with this are those that once experienced this loss. For those of you that are shaking your head at this current moment, stop for a second. Think about how low one would have to feel, to want to take their own life, to lose every bit of attachment to people, to have no reason to stay alive. Even my words cannot capture the depths of this occurrence. It is absolutely petrifying, to believe that one has nobody, to feel that there is nobody on earth that cares, to feel that if you died, nobody would notice, to feel so alone that you cry yourself to sleep each night. This feeling itself is the pain; it infiltrates your body until you forget what pleasure feels like. You can no longer describe it, you can no longer feel it; you enter a state of anaesthesia.


You lose your confidence, your self-worth, you lose everything. You lose it so quickly that you do not even realize when it became absent. You stop talking to people, you hide away, and in doing so, nobody takes any notice anymore. Suicide becomes a daily thought; you contemplate the different ways to do it. You wonder whether people will come to your funeral, or whether you will just make gossip of the week. You lose awareness of everything but go through the motions of life, as an unresponsive carcass. The signs are evident, but their eyes overlook it. This only deepens the aching and eventually you realize that you really do not matter at all. You search for hope, for something to hold on to, for something to get you through this. There is nothing.


Nobody stops to ask how you are, or to tell you that you will be okay; in fact nobody even apprehends that something is wrong. There is only one way out. Only one way to stop the pain, to relieve yourself, to put an end to everything.

The distressing thing is that this is so much more common than you can comprehend. In fact, somebody is going through this right now, and they need someone to tell them to be strong, and that they just need to hold on because it will get better. This person could be in your house, they could pass you in the street, serve you in a shop, stop their car to let you pass, this could be anybody. This is one of the reasons that I deem it so important to be nice to people, to be nice to everybody. You honestly have no idea what someone is going through. When you smile at them, or give them kind words, it could affect them more than you know. It could make them feel hopeful, and in that situation, these tiny gestures are everything. I remember all those times that strangers would smile at me on the street, and how for a second, I believed that maybe everything would be fine. It helped, if even for that moment.



When someone is rude to you, pause, and contemplate what could have made them act that way. What could they be going through?

No matter what you are going through, or what you will go through, remember that everything eventually passes, and this too, will pass. You may forget what it feels like to be happy, but the most important thing to do on these occasions, is to remember what you have. It is difficult to feel lucky when you believe that you have nothing, but the smallest of things can make a difference. For me, it was a significant moment that truly made me evaluate myself. 


Things slowly became clear, but I had to rebuild myself. I had to recreate friendships and start over. but the important notion was to believe that I was blessed. Now, when I become upset, I immediately think of my blessings and the predicament seems minute. I use this experience to remind myself that I can overcome anything. Feeling that low was one of the most difficult times of my life, but here I am, alhamdulillah. If I can do it, so can you. 


You need to feel good about yourself again, do something that once made you happy. Visit places from your childhood. Get out of your current surrounding. In time, the sadness dies and you'll come back to life.

I have said this before, but I strongly want to emphasis it again. If you ever need someone to talk to, or somebody to listen, Feel free to email me, I would love to help.