Shiver

I had a dream I stood beneath an Orange Sky : Alexi Murdoch Now there's no room for negotiation and none for personally viable imagery. There's neither scope nor time for settlements. What you have now is what you'll hold forever and I wish I could say that you were a part of my scavenged dossier but I've sifted and even hunted in my last few bargained hours, but I found nothing. It's like you never existed. Just as well. 

Give me a lie, and I'll live it. Give me a robe and a fancy hat, and I'll don it. Give me a piece of paper and blood instead of ink, and I'll scribe it. Give me frivolity and I'll find a way to conjure short-lived beauty, peace and purity. Give me a pounding heart, and I'll pretend like I never heard it. 

 

This is us, old with no recourse to the past. What we have now is all we'll ever have. If you look at it through many rose tints you'd find it perfect and that's the best way to look at it. But if you dare lighten the shades... 

 

You find one place that you hope will let you forget and forgive and forgo. But if you carry all your baggage on your arm, up-sliding into your heart, seeping into your nervous system, and igniting dangerous cells, you can't expect even paradise to set you free. I've seen heaven and I've seen hell and I've seen them simultaneously. The worst part of not having a time lag between witnessing the two, is finding each equally mesmerizing and tempting. The two feelings rendering you unfit for either. When you get sucked into a roller-coaster ride of promise and hope and dejection and failure, you start enjoying the feeling of each. The loss that comes after the highs and the euphoria after the lows. 

 

All you had to do was ask. But you wouldn't. All I had to do was tell you. But I didn't. All that ever needed to be done, was untying the cruel knots that fate decided to put in the ropes that at some point would tow us back to each other. Maybe they're still not bad enough. Maybe 10 years later. Maybe not. I hate not knowing. But knowing would make me God. 

 

You're not mine. But I'm yours. And if that's not cruel, what is?

Lost are those who are forgotten

 

Life cannot be better, we say when everything around us goes the way we want it to be. It feels like we have been riding a big airplane-sized car on the straight and plain highway of life. There is no traffic, no stop sign, nothing to distract us. We and our life. We get whatever we want. Life feels picture-perfect. 

This is where we do the prime mistake of our lives. The slip where we are going to slide so hard that  we are going to burst. We do not even realize what we are doing. We climb all the way to the mountains and do not know our way down. This is where life likes to play with us. To play with our emotions and beloved ones. Just to make us stronger. Life just wants us to realize the authenticity and not to forget the sure-happenings of life. Life puts a bump on the super straight highway. A slow-down. Life takes away our beloved ones from us. 

Ones without whom our life is meaningless. Ones who ho are actually the wheels of our car which keeps our vehicle running. What should we do in that situation? Give up? I don’t think so. Life itself is so dumb. It just knows few tricks to get us but we are a lot smarter than that. Do not let life play on us but play with life. Tell life how strong we are and we have not forgotten anything. We know our way down and we know that life is not perfect. Tell life that we know we all are in this world to leave. We know that this straight simple way is going to be stony at some place and we will get through it. Sometimes we think that why life chose us to be the victim. Remember we are not the victims, we are blessed ones. 

Life did it to us because we are a lot stronger than other people and we will become inspiration of people. We will become a source of message for other million people and show them that we are living in the real world and we thank God for everything. We obviously miss the lost ones but now we are going to live our own lives because people need us. Because this world needs some good people to be here still to spread the intelligence. Our families need us to support them and we will make proud those who are taken away from us. We did not actually lose them. 

Lost are those who are forgotten. They will be there with us, in our memories forever. We will meet them in heaven someday and will spend the never-ending life with them. Everybody loves us. I used “We” all over this little message because it’s not just you. You are not alone. It’s you and me together. It’s we now and forever.